[ the long answer is yes, every day of his life. every day he looks at his kid and sees the storm on his brow and the baring of his teeth; when he thinks of Angela and the wreck he'd made of this family after she'd passed. Herc often feels like he isn't good enough— not as a soldier, but as a father. ]
You bet.
But you'd better get your head out of your ass about it. You can think it all you want but you can't make that choice for someone.
[ Trust a Hansen to hit things like a hammer hits a nail on the head - for all that they never turn that particular skill to each other, but it's not Raleigh's place to judge. He's aware of some of the things that's gone behind the scenes, for Striker, and even with that narrow picture he knows to step out of that. ]
The kid's got some good things to say when he isn't being a shithead.
[ he isn't surprised; it's a concession they'd had to make for one another, things that went unsaid and that only came out in the drift. in order to pilot as well as they did, they needed to have an understanding. it didn't mean the adversary wasn't still there— especially from Chuck— but if they'd fallen back on words instead of the drift? they'd have broken up as a team a long time ago. ]
[ He's not the same as he was, Raleigh means. Chuck's different, or maybe he was always the same, and the irritatingly smug attitude was just part of a facade. What for, Raleigh has no idea. Raleigh has no dog in that fight, either. ]
[ because he's seen it, he's been in the boy's head— knows his kid has a big heart, despite the lash of his tongue and the prickle of his demeanor. Herc has no illusions— he thinks most of that was Angela's doing (he wasn't around, was never around), but Chuck wouldn't have fought in the war and taken such good care of that dog if he didn't. ]
[ And it's difficult, oftentimes, to just like Chuck for who he is; everything always feels like a fight and Raleigh doesn't enjoy winning any goodwill this way. It marks him as someone who's half-and-half, he's sure - he's not like Mako, who grew up with the kind of short-hand that Herc and Chuck know well.
Maybe if he did, he wouldn't have made the mistakes he's made right now. ]
even a good car needs a jumpstart from time to time, sir.
( wk 10 dy 1 )
thought you should know.
( wk 10 dy 1 )
Wanna elaborate or are you just confessing?
( wk 10 dy 1 )
i screwed up.
( wk 10 dy 1 )
( wk 10 dy 1 )
( wk 10 dy 1 )
( wk 10 dy 1 )
( wk 10 dy 1 )
( wk 10 dy 1 )
( wk 10 dy 1 )
You bet.
But you'd better get your head out of your ass about it. You can think it all you want but you can't make that choice for someone.
( wk 10 dy 1 )
that's what chuck said. sir.
( wk 10 dy 1 )
[ he isn't surprised; it's a concession they'd had to make for one another, things that went unsaid and that only came out in the drift. in order to pilot as well as they did, they needed to have an understanding. it didn't mean the adversary wasn't still there— especially from Chuck— but if they'd fallen back on words instead of the drift? they'd have broken up as a team a long time ago. ]
( wk 10 dy 1 )
[ He's not the same as he was, Raleigh means. Chuck's different, or maybe he was always the same, and the irritatingly smug attitude was just part of a facade. What for, Raleigh has no idea. Raleigh has no dog in that fight, either. ]
i'll fix it, sir.
i swear on that.
( wk 10 dy 1 )
[ because he's seen it, he's been in the boy's head— knows his kid has a big heart, despite the lash of his tongue and the prickle of his demeanor. Herc has no illusions— he thinks most of that was Angela's doing (he wasn't around, was never around), but Chuck wouldn't have fought in the war and taken such good care of that dog if he didn't. ]
Can't fix something that isn't broke.
( wk 10 dy 1 )
Maybe if he did, he wouldn't have made the mistakes he's made right now. ]
even a good car needs a jumpstart from time to time, sir.
( wk 10 dy 1 )
( wk 10 dy 1 )
[ like he trusts anything else. ]